Blog, Living in the Abundance of Christ

I Have Nothing To Lose

The same phrase keeps replaying in my mind.

I feel attacked by someone’s response to me.

I think to myself, “I’m o.k. with that.”

I have relationships that are strained or broken.

“I’m ok with that,” the internal dialogue continues.

Plans don’t seem to go my way.

“I’m o.k. with that.”

I struggle with feeling deflated and having clear direction.

“I’m o.k. with that.”

My body has a negative response and I fight to recover.

“I’m o.k. with that.”

I set out to accomplish a goal and fail.

“I’m o.k. with that.”

I’m uncomfortable in this place.

“I’m o.k. with that.”

I don’t know the outcome of this situation.

“I’m o.k. with that.”

I don’t think I have what it takes.

“I’m o.k. with that.”

Maybe this phrase seems to odd to you, and I’m not quite sure why it started running through my head, or why I have processed these things and feel o.k. with them.  It’s not that they aren’t hard or painful, they are. And it’s not that I’ve had any spectacular epiphany; I don’t even know if I’ll be “o.k.” with these things come next week. It’s been like gaining an understanding of the phrase, “it is well with my soul.” It’s been a slow process of trusting in a merciful God. I continually have to fall on his mercy, and it does feel like falling. But I trust Him.

I trust Him and I love Him.

And…

I have nothing to lose.

The things I’ve lost were not mine to keep.

There is nothing that I have that God has not given me.

And there is nothing that can be taken from me that God does not allow.

When I finally realized what this meant, it changed so much for me.

The things I’ve lost were not mine to keep.

I have nothing to lose.

 

Recently I’ve been thinking on the Parable of the Talents.

For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property.  To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away.  He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more.  So also he who had the two talents made two talents more.  But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 

Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them.  And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’  His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 

And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed,  so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed?  Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest.  

So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents.  For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.  And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’” Matthew 25:14-30

The “talents” described here refer to God-given gifts and skills, individual to each of us. When I’m living in fear of failure and loss and not stepping out to meet people’s needs, however I am able, I am burying my talents. To do nothing would be worse than stepping out with the resources and abilities I have and failing. Knowing that I can trust the Lord, and that I will not lose anything that I’m meant to keep, pushes me to obey God’s Word and fulfill my calling to the best of my ability. We are responsible for doing the work, and God is responsible for what that work produces. And who’s to say if our failure’s are failure’s in God’s economy. So, I aim for obedience, and leave the harvest to him.

And I am o.k. with that.

 

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